I found a box from my grandma on my porch last week. Inside was this very long scarf, and a note from my grandma saying that my aunt had knit it for me.
That was sort of heartbreaking, because my aunt died unexpectedly two months ago.
The scarf is comfortingly warm. I started wearing it that day. At some point I buried my face in it. It smelled like her house, and I cried in a way that I hadn't yet cried since she died.
It has me wondering those sorts of questions that never get answered when someone dies. Did she not know how to cast off? Was she stuck about whether to use the ribbons? Or was it her continual struggle with depression that kept her from taking those last finishing steps?
Knowing the scarf was done for a year, but that I never got to thank her and compliment her on her knitting just feels terrible. And it has me looking around at my own unfinished objects as well. Why haven't I completed them? Where am I getting stuck? I don't necessarily know. I want to be better about this. I'm not really into resolutions but I just want to be more mindful about completing my projects and getting them on to their intended purposes.